When you’ve been on the dance floor for a while, it’s hard to say, WE NEED SOME HELP : Relationship Building Resources
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When you’ve been on the dance floor for a while, it’s hard to say, WE NEED SOME HELP

by Lisa Blum and Silvina Irwin on 08/08/16

When you’ve been on the dance floor for a while, it’s hard to say, We need some help.  Deciding to go to a Hold Me Tight Workshop.

 We are happy to share a few experiences of Ron and Debbie, recent participants of a Hold Me Tight Workshop: 

Hi! We are Debbie and Ron. We’re ordinary people, been married for…..well, long enough to have dug deep and predictable trenches in the way we do life and love together. Where these patterns are good, it’s great, where they’re not, it can be frustrating, annoying and at times really painful. You probably know what we’re talking about.

What was tricky about deciding to go to the Hold Me Tight workshop is that on the outside, we look like we have it pretty together.  Our relational “dance” had managed to skirt its way around many important “obstacles”. However, we found ourselves “tripped up” in places where it really mattered. Whether the issue was about taking an honest look at the relationship, being heard, feeling truly safe enough to say what you really want to say, healing broken trust, or intimacy, when you have been on the dance floor for a while, it’s hard to say, “we need some help.” We’re here to tell you, it’s definitely was worth mustering the “intestinal fortitude” and making the investment to step out and sign up!

So, what was it like for us and what did we get out of our two weekend Hold Me Tight groups with Silvina [Irwin], Lisa [Blum] and the team?


  •  Courage: It can be scary to head out on an unfamiliar journey with a group of people you don’t know, right? Maybe because it’s new and strange, and to everyone there, it’s very personal. We were amazed by the synergy that emerged as the facilitators skillfully crafted a program with structure, support, and safe space for couples to process material both together as a group and alone, to come back into the group and share if we wished to do so. As the weekends unfolded we witnessed courage beget more courage and tears tell stories of hope and healing.
  •  Comfort: While we found these workshops were very “therapeutic” they are not therapy. There was something tremendously comforting in being part of a group, identifying with others, and the human experience of facing similar challenges and struggles! We took this with us and it helped.
  • Co-creating Change: If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got! Yet, that is what we did for so long. We came away with a different perspective on the dissatisfying pattern that interfered with our capacity to be emotionally accessible and engaged with each other, especially when we are stressed. We now have a “beginner’s guide” as to how our emotions are a way of understanding how we get caught in our “dance” and how we can practice a new one. We got a glimpse of what our dance could be like, when there is more freedom and safety to share real feelings and deep longings.


Our only regret is that we wish we had done this years ago. Hope you don’t miss this opportunity!


Debbie and Ron




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